


I Need Your Hand to Hold

by BlackRose2016



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Depression, Gay Male Character, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20541407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackRose2016/pseuds/BlackRose2016
Summary: Over time, Natsu and Gray have always needed one another.





	I Need Your Hand to Hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jinx13GXA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinx13GXA/gifts).

> Warning: mentions of self harm exist within this work. Please do not read this if you sre sensitive to those types of topics.
> 
> My first Gratsu fic! I'm really pleased with how it turned out! And shoutout to my wonderful cyber-sib Jinx13GXA for being my beta and inspiring this work! Also, throughout the work, these are MY headcanons and interpretations of characters. They are not part of the canon content (cause canon to me is DEAD).
> 
> Feel free to send me some feedback! I'm always open to criticism! Just don't be a dick about it!

(8 and 9 yrs old)  
Gray sat on the fallen log, eyes full of tears as he thought about his parents, about Ur. Why hadn’t he been stronger? Why was he so dumb, charging into a battle he wasn’t ready for yet? He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice he had company till he saw a small flash of pink out of the corner of his eye, causing him to jump back with a small yell.  
“Natsu, what the hell?!” Gray snaps. The pink haired dragon slayer just stays in his spot, eyes locked on the young ice mage. It is as if he is trying to see into his mind.  


“You don’t have to be alone, you know.” The young boy told his companion calmly, then turned away, as if to give the other some form of privacy.  
Gray didn’t know what to say to that. Normally when he and Natsu were in the same place, they ended up beating the snot out of one another. Now Natsu, who never knew how to stay in one place for more than a few moments at a time, was sitting still? In silence? Then his words finally sank into his head, and as if they pressed some magical button, Gray began to silently sob, finally releasing the pent up pain and sadness from the loss of those he loved. He buried his face into Natsu’s neck, clinging to the other in an attempt to ground himself. The raven haired 8 year old kept crying for what felt like forever, but not once did the other complain. He kept his eyes off on the distance, but his small arms were wrapped tightly around his friend/rival.

Even though he was done crying, Gray did not move from his spot, reveling in the warmth the other offered so kindly to him despite their polar opposite attitudes. The sun began to set when Gray finally was able to pull away.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do this, you know.” He blushed a bit as he sat up, embarrassed to have been caught in such an emotional state.

Natsu flashed him a giant grin. “Of course, Gray! You’re my friend. Like I said, there is no need for you to be sad all alone, alright? Next time this happens, talk to someone. If I find out you didn’t, I’m gonna kick your butt!” Gray only laughed as he nodded.

“Got it, flamebrain.”

\-------------

(8 and 9 yrs old, a few months after the first encounter)

Natsu growled when Erza tried to talk to him, worry obvious on her face as she looked at his weary eyes.

“Natsu, please. You just need to get some rest.” She tried again. Gray walked in at that moment and stood there for a brief moment before walking over and grabbing Natsu by the arm in order to drag him outside, his ice protecting him from Natsu’s fire. Once at a safe distance from the guild, Gray threw a punch at Natsu, hitting him in the face. The young fire mage reacted immediately and began fighting Gray with everything he had and more, tears falling from his eyes as he threw more punches. Gray only blocked, letting the other boy use up his energy.

After about an hour, Natsu let out a loud cry before collapsing to the ground in tears. Gray just sits beside him, reaching down and holding his hand as a way to ground him as he let out his pain.

“Why?! Why did he leave me, Gray?! He was my dad! He loved me! He promised to never leave me! So why did he go?!” Gray remained silent, just moving so Natsu could rest his head in his lap, rather than the dirty and rough forest ground. Natsu kept crying till eventually his exhaustion caught up to him, the fire dragon slayer falling asleep in Gray’s lap. The ice mage just stayed still, allowing Natsu to finally get some rest, hand gently running through his pink hair in order to soothe his restless soul. Occasionally Natsu would move or mumble something, but Gray would just keep up his comforting strokes through his hair and help ease him back into a more peaceful sleep.

\-----------

(14 and 15. Lisanna’s death)

Natsu sat in front of Lisanna’s grave with a blank expression on his face, unable to process the loss of a dear friend. What had Lisanna done wrong to deserve this? He punched the ground above her buried casket again. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Gray standing above him, holding an umbrella over both of them in order to shield them from the rain. Natsu stayed where he was for a brief moment, then leapt up and clung to Gray as he cried. Gray was silent as he held Natsu close, offering him as much comfort as he could.

“No matter what, Natsu, I am not going anywhere. I promise to stay here with you.” Gray said after a few moments. The pinkette looked up, shocked for a brief moment before nodding. 

“And I promise to stay by your side too, Gray.” The pink haired teen assured his companion. Gray gave him a small smile. 

“Good. Now, how about we get out of the rain? Lisanna wouldn’t want us to sit out here and get sick while grieving for her, and you know it.” Gray held Natsu’s hand as he lead the other out of the cemetery and back to his apartment, handing Natsu some clean clothes to change into after shoving him into the bathroom in order for him to take a warm shower.

Natsu stood frozen for a moment once alone, then let more tears fall once under the warm spray of Gray’s shower. 

Outside the bathroom Gray sat by the door, keeping an ear out in case Natsu needed him. He sighed softly as his mind wandered back to the ones he lost over the years, but he shook the thoughts away. He was supposed to be helping Natsu, not wallowing in his own self pity. He could do that after he helped Natsu go back to being his usual goofy self and was alone in his apartment. 

Natsu was quick with his shower before stepping back out, now in dry pants and a t-shirt Gray had found that was clean. The pinkette looked down at Gray and paused, eyes searching his face and eyes. 

“Gray? You know you don’t have to be okay, right? You are allowed to hurt, too.” Natsu said. Gray looked up, shocked that Natsu could see how he felt so easily, then bit his quivering lip before breaking down into tears. Natsu knelt down and pulled him close, letting more tears fall as they both mourned those they had lost over time and basking in the embrace of the other, silently thanking them for being there when no one else was.

\---------------

(Few months after Lisanna’s funeral, both 15.)

Natsu had crashed at Gray’s place after the two had taken a mission with Erza. It had been a simple mission up north that had them capture some bandits. Ever since they had gotten back Gray had become distant, which immediately worried Natsu. This lead to him insisting on spending the night at Gray’s, stating that he was exhausted from the train ride and didn’t want to walk home so late. The ice mage only rolled his eyes in response.

Natsu vaguely heard some sniffles come from Gray’s room and got up from the couch, silently approaching the bedroom in order to investigate. Slowly he opened the door and found Gray hunched over his desk, trying to muffle his cries. Natsu frowned at this, then gently pulled him from his desk and into his arms, sitting them onto the ice mage’s bed. The two had been dancing around their feelings for a few months now, but were constantly around one another.

“Gray? Please, tell me what’s wrong so I can help you. Even if it means just listening to you.” Natsu nearly begged.

Gray took a deep breath. “That mission we just took,” He began after a few moments, “it…..it was so close to where my home used to be. I should be over it by now, it’s been almost 10 years, but being so close again, I just…” He burst into tears again, clinging to Natsu.

Natsu held him close, rocking him gently as he cried, but not saying a word. He knew that Gray needed a few moments to let it all out before someone talked to him again and helped him rationalize his emotions.

Gray eventually calmed down enough for Natsu to talk. “You don’t have to be over anything, Gray. Time does not dictate how long you should or should not grieve over a loss. Everyone heals at their own rate. And being home again after so long is bound to open up some old wounds, so don’t feel bad for feeling the way you do. Your emotions are valid. You matter.” Natsu told him honestly.

Gray nodded slowly as Natsu spoke, letting his words sink in. After a few moments of silence, Gray got up and pulled out a hidden notebook from his desk. “I want to show you something. You can’t tell anyone about it, okay, Natsu? This is really personal and it is taking a lot for me to even tell you about it, let alone let you read it.” The ice mage asked the fire dragon slayer, who immediately nodded. Shyly, he handed the notebook to Natsu and simply waited as the pinkette read over his stuff, praying that Natsu didn’t judge him or abandon him for what he had written. The poems ranged from depressing to full of rage to longing to even love.

Natsu was silent as he read over the notebook Gray had given him, understanding how much trust Gray was putting in him by letting him see this. Many of these poems and entries made him want to just wrap Gray up in a blanket and protect him from the world. Finally he looked up.

“These are beautifully written, Gray. Thank you for trusting me enough to let me read these. Can I show you something in return?” He asked. Gray blinked, but nodded. Natsu lit up, then ran out of the room before returning with a large sketchbook. Shyly, he handed it to Gray. Still confused, Gray took the sketchbook into his hands and opened it up, only to be blown away by the drawings he found inside. “Damn, Natsu, these are really good.” He told the pinkette honestly as he flipped through the pages. He paused when he came about a collection of sketches of….him. Blue eyes met heterochromatic. “Natsu..?” His heart began beating faster, but he did not dare to hope that Natsu felt the same. He would not be able to take it if Natsu rejected him. 

Natsu was blushing slyly. “I...I really like you, Gray. As..as more than a friend. You don’t have to return my feelings, but… I just wanted you to know.” 

Gray sat there, frozen for a moment, then got up and grabbed a stack of papers that had been hidden on his desk, handing them to Natsu. Natsu blinked, but looked them over, eyes going wide as he realized what Gray was telling him. He set the papers aside, then his sketchbook and Gray’s notebook, before tackling Gray with a big hug before gently pressing his lips against the ice mage’s. Gray immediately responded by kissing back, his touch just as gentle.

The two pulled away once the need for air became too much for them, eyes locked. 

“I really like you, too,” was all Gray could say, cheeks pink. Natsu beamed at him before kissing him again, holding him close.

\-------------

(17 and 18. Couple weeks after Lucy joined)

The ride back from Galuna Island was quiet between Gray and Natsu. Gray had been refusing to look Natsu in the eye, knowing the fire mage was furious with him, and for good reasons. He could feel the heat emanating from Natsu, letting him know just how angry he was. The two stepped into Gray’s apartment when Natsu turned to Gray, pinning him to the door. His eyes were full of anger, but also…. Fear?

“What kind of shit was that, Gray?! What were you thinking?!” He asked, obviously upset. Gray looked down, unable to find the words to explain what he felt so that Natsu could understand. 

“I am not losing you, you idiot! Don’t you know how much I love you?! I don’t want to be without you, you idiot!” Natsu cried out before collapsing against Gray, sobbing as his hands tightly held onto the ice mage’s shirt.

“Please, Gray, don’t make me lose you, too. I really can’t lose you. I love you so damn much. You’re my mate. I need you here, by my side, forever and then some.” Natsu pleaded. 

Gray was frozen for a moment as he listened to Natsu, his heart breaking as he heard the normally brave and confident voice he knew and loved sound so broken and distraught, and all because of him. He broke down into sobs, holding Natsu close.

“I’m so sorry, Natsu. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I just…I thought it would have been best.” He admitted. “I never wanted to leave you alone, I just...I love you so much, and just figured you would be better off without me. Lucy is a nice girl. You could be happy with her. You guys get along great.” He kept his eyes on the ground as he said this. This was the first time he admitted to even feeling any form of jealousy towards their new guildmate. He had nothing against her, but he did fear that one day Natsu might choose her over him. Afterall, she was so bright and happy. Gray was dark and depressing and cold. 

Natsu stepped back, eyes wide with shock as he listened to Gray speak as if this was bound to happen, as if Natsu was going to just up and leave him at any moment. He couldn’t, and wasn't going to, get mad at Gray for how he felt. He knew and understood that Gray was insecure at times, that there were days that the whispers of strangers really got under his skin and messed with his head. 

Gray kept his head down as Natsu stepped back, doing all he could to keep his heart from breaking. ‘This is it. This is the moment Natsu realizes how shitty a person you are and finally leaves your pathetic ass. Just like everyone else.’

Suddenly Gray found himself being kissed deeply, hands gently cradling his face as if he were some priceless gem. Gray looked up and found Natsu gazing into his eyes with such a tender and loving expression, making his heart both clench and melt.

“You are the only one I have ever had my eyes on, and the only one I want by my side. I love you, Gray. I love every part of you. All the good and the bad. I wouldn't have you any other way. You’re my mate. My treasure. And dragons are super protective and greedy when it comes to their treasures.” Natsu then kissed him again, holding him close. Gray sniffled as he buried his face into Natsu’s shoulder, clinging to him. Natsu scooped him up and carried him off to his room, determined to show Gray, physically, how much he loved him. How much he appreciated him and treasured him.

Later that night, Gray rested his head against Natsu’s chest, listening to his heart beat. He smiled as he felt Natsu play with his hair, neither caring that they were naked in bed, relaxing after a very intense lovemaking session. Gently, Gray pressed a kiss onto Natsu’s chest above his heart. “I love you, Natsu. And I am sorry for scaring you today and hiding my insecurities from you.” Gray said softly, looking up into the eyes he loved so much. Natsu smiled gently at him, then softly pressed a kiss upon his lips, holding him close.

“Just know that, no matter what happens, I am here for you, and that I love you. No matter what.”

\-----------

(Exactly a week after Wendy joined FT. Both 18.)

Finding his brother wasn’t supposed to hurt this much.

Natsu glared darkly at Gajeel as they stood outside the guild. Gajeel had his eyes on the ground, unable to meet his brother’s gaze. He was so ashamed of himself and his actions.

“How could you, you asshole! We were brothers, and that is the kind of shit you pull?!” Natsu hissed at him. He then punched Gajeel in the face, the iron dragon slayer doing nothing to defend himself or fight back. “Why?! You’re my brother! Why did we have to fight like that?! Why did you follow the words of such a twisted man?! Why didn’t you try to find me!?” Natsu needed answers, but Gajeel wasn’t sure he could give Natsu any good answers.

“I let my anger guide me, rather than my head. I was being spiteful towards Metalicana for leaving me.” Gajeel told him honestly. “I just… I wanted to feel something other than the pain of losing him, and Jose gave me something to focus my energies on.”

Natsu hit him again, then pulled Gajeel close while sobbing about how dumb the iron dragon slayer was. “Never again,” was all Natsu could say. Gajeel could only nod. No more words could be said to convey how they felt about the situation.

A few weeks later they were finally reunited with their beloved baby sister, Wendy, but once again, it hurt so much to find his family, which Natsu thought was strange. He held the little girl close as she sobbed over the loss of her guild, trying to comfort her as best he could. What else could he do? After a while he gently scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to the rooms they were staying at, holding her small form close the entire time. He didn’t talk to Gray for a while, focussing on his little sister who had just lost everything.

About a week later it all hit Natsu like a train. All the pain. All the hurt. He ran into the forest, taking out every tree in his path. He didn’t want to feel the pain anymore. He didn’t want to think about anything, so for the rest of the day he focused on destroying everything around him till there was nothing left.

For hours on end, he just kept punching the trees around him, using his bare fists. Eventually, he ran out of energy, collapsing beside one of the trees he had been punching.

Natsu just kept hitting his head against the tree, trying to feel something other than the pain of losing Igneel and having to fight his brother-like figure after being apart for so long. And now he finally found his baby ‘sister’, only to watch her lose everyone she cared for in the blink of an eye and be powerless to stop it. His heart hurt so much. Why couldn’t he protect his family? More tears fell, knocked over trees surrounding his fallen form. He could barely feel the blood dripping from his bruised knuckles. They were probably broken now, with everything he had done to them the past couple of hours.

About 3 miles away Gray was searching for his mate, worried when he hadn’t seen the pinkette at the guild that morning. He heard a tree fall over in the distance and went in that direction. Gray sprinted over to Natsu’s fallen form once he found him.  
“Natsu? Natsu!” Gray called out to his mate before dropping to his knees beside his fallen mate, worried. “What happened? Did someone attack you?” He asked.

Natsu had stopped bashing his head when he had heard Gray call his name, trying to find a way to convey to him everything he was feeling. Slowly he shook his head.

“No one attacked me, Gray. I did this. I just…. what am I supposed to feel now? I finally got two of my siblings back, but there is jack shit I can do to stop the pain they are feeling! We all had promised to protect each other, and I failed them both.” Natsu began to cry again.

Gray was frozen for a brief moment, taking in everything Natsu said, then pulled the pinkette into his arms, holding him close and comforting him as best he could. He wasn’t going to tell Natsu that it wasn’t his fault, or that it was out of his control, because he knows Natsu. He knows Natsu wouldn’t believe him and just argue and get more upset. Instead he focused on reassuring Natsu that he was loved, and that Wendy and Gajeel still adored him as their brother. He reminded Natsu that the fire dragon slayer would always have him by his side, no matter what. His touches were gentle as he ran his hand through Natsu’s hair, doing everything in his power to show Natsu how loved he was.

Natsu eventually calmed down, leaning more into Gray’s embrace. He shakily wraps his arms around Gray’s neck, smearing more of his blood over Gray’s skin, but the ice mage didn’t care.

Once his breathing was calm, Gray helped Natsu stand and gently guided him back to the guild, where Wendy immediately got to work on patching him up, scolding him gently for being so reckless. Gajeel noticed him and ruffled the pinkette's hair. “Enough with the bullshit. We’re together now, and that’s what’s important, okay?” Natsu nodded tearfully, and the three hugged. Gray just stood to the side, smiling gently now that he knew that Natsu was going to be okay again.

\--------------

(2 days after Lisanna returns from Edolas. Both 18.)

Gray started getting worried when Natsu started not showing up at the guild again, which was weird since Lisanna had just been brought back from Edolas. Gray was so sure that Natsu would be here, getting into trouble with Lisanna all over again and telling her all about his adventures and listening to her tell him more about Edolas. All Happy could tell them that Natsu had asked to be alone, staying in bed all day. 2 more days pass before Gray decides he’s had enough and goes to get Natsu, their friends cheering him on and the other two slayers nodding at him in approval.

Gray knew the way to Natsu’s house like the back of his hand was there in a few mere moments. He knocked loudly on the door.

“Go away! I said I wanted to be alone, Gajeel! And if this is Erza again, fuck off!” Gray sighed.  
“How about you use those damn slayer senses of yours before just yelling randomly through the door, dumbass!” Gray yelled back, not liking Natsu’s attitude one bit. There is a brief moment of silence, then the door is slowly opened, revealing a disheveled and exhausted looking Natsu. Gray felt his heart immediately clench and stepped inside, pulling Natsu close.

“Natsu, what is going on? Even Happy has no idea what has gotten into you.” He rested his cheek gently against Natsu’s head, immediately noticing that the pinkette had not showered recently, if the slight build up of dirt he felt within the normally soft locks was any indication. Gray feels Natsu shakily sigh against him, the other clinging to him like a lifeline, as if the ice mage could vanish at any moment.

“I… I keep having nightmares,” he admitted. “Of losing you. And the others.” He bites his lip as he feels another wave of tears and anxiety rush through him. 

Gray hears the slight crack in his voice as he tells him about the nightmares, of the different ways his mind has made him endure the loss of the ones he loves. Making him relive memories he had wanted to forget. He also told Gray about the ones where he saw the ice mage performed the forbidden Iced Shell spell, how he felt his heart shatter once it sank in that Natsu would never get to see his beloved mate again, or feel his touch, or kiss him, or make love to him, or anything.

Gray’s next decision is a bit rash, but he knows that right now words are not going to help Natsu. The dragon slayer needs physical reminders of what he has, and Gray was more than willing to give that to him. He gently scoops the other up and carries him to his cot before laying him down, treating Natsu like a precious treasure as he makes love to him throughout the afternoon.

Later, as they bask in the afterglow, Gray finally speaks. “I am not leaving you anytime soon, Natsu. I am your mate and you are mine.” Natsu sniffles, then begins to cry against Gray’s chest, clinging to him. The ice mage just holds him close, repeating to him how he was never going to leave, and that he loved him. It is moments like these that make Natsu feel truly loved and blessed to have such a loving and understanding mate. Finally, Natsu goes to sleep, no nightmares to be seen or heard.

\--------------------

(1 month before Tenrou and the S-class Exams. 18 and 19.)

Natsu is sprinting towards Gray’s apartment through the rain. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I forget such an important date?!’ He berated himself as he ran. Soon he made it to Gray’s apartment and used the key the ice mage had given him to hurry inside. “Gray? Gray, where are you? Please, talk to me!” He searched everywhere for his mate, vaguely noting that Gray’s normally neat and clean apartment was now a complete wreck. Finally he found Gray in the bathroom, eyes open but empty, small streams of blood trickling down his wrist, as he laid there in the bathtub, still breathing.

“Gray!” Natsu grabbed a towel and pressed it firmly to the cut, keeping the blood from leaving his body as best he could. Gray slowly turned his head towards Natsu, a small flicker of life entering them before disappearing again. 

“It isn’t worth it, Natsu.” Gray groaned as Natsu pressed harder on the cut, the knife already removed from his grasp and moved far away.

“You will always be worth it, Gray. Wendy is already on her way to come fix you up.” He told the ice mage, trying to stay calm as the white towel continued to turn red. Then the small mage entered the apartment, alone, and got to work, not saying a word. Soon the wound was healed up, and Wendy hugged Gray tight before leaving the couple alone, squeezing Natsu’s shoulder gently as she went.

Once she was gone, Natsu pulled him close and began to sob.

“I love you,” was all he could say as he rocked them back and forth, Gray staring at him in silence. Soon enough, Gray began to cry as well, clinging to Natsu. There wasn’t much either of them could say at this point, one just reveling in the fact that he got there in time while the other let out all the pain he was hiding from the world.

“I know you aren’t okay, so I won’t bother asking, but I want you to know that I am always here for you, Gray. I love you. I need you in my life.” Natsu said softly after a while, throat sore from his crying. Gray shakily nodded.

“I’m sorry.” 

Natsu just shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. It is okay to not be okay. You are allowed to hurt, and when you are hurting, I will be here to hold you and help you through the pain. Just like you help me.” Natsu gave him a shaky smile as he spoke, but those words held so much truth, so much love, and so much understanding. Gray nodded again, burying his face against Natsu’s chest. 

The pair stayed like that the rest of the night, only moving so they could lay comfortably in a bed. Occasionally Natsu would whisper lovingly into Gray’s ear, telling him how amazing he was and how much he loved and needed him in his life. Gray was quiet, soaking in every word, every caress, every moment he spent with Natsu, blocking out the negative thoughts from his head.

His demons weren’t going to go away from just this one time, they both knew that, but Gray felt more confident about facing them in the future so long as he had Natsu by his side.

\---------------

(The day they returned from Tenrou. 18 and 19.)

Natsu noticed throughout the morning that Gray was a bit twitchy, but was unable to say as to why he was acting that way. By lunch Gray pulled him outside, visibly shaking.

“Natsu, I am not okay,” was all he had to say before Natsu understood. With a nod, Natsu gently picked him up and carried him back to his small home in the forest, away from prying eyes. Once inside the fire dragon slayer just took his mate to the cot and the two laid down, no words being said until Gray was ready. Natsu could feel him twitching and shaking in his arms and at times thought he would need to let go and give Gray room, but the ice mage would immediately cling tightly to Natsu when he began to feel his warm arms letting go of him.

“Don’t leave me.” 

Though his voice was small, Natsu clearly heard the plea from his mate, not liking how broken and terrified he sounded. He kissed his head and pulled the ice mage closer. Gray nuzzled his neck, holding on tightly to Natsu, as if he were a small child clinging to their favorite toy. It was a long while before Gray found the words to say.

“I keep taking my meds, and they normally help keep everything under control, but today… I just don’t know what happened. I just… wasn’t okay. Everything was too loud and too bright and just… fuck. I don’t know.” 

Natsu listened quietly, wanting to hear everything Gray had to say before speaking. “I think you experienced a sensory overload, which caused you to panic since your senses were getting too much information at once. I have had that happen a few times, since my senses are stronger than yours and I have anxiety. You did the right thing, though, by telling me and doing what you could to remove yourself from all the stimuli. It is a lot to handle, especially when you have no idea what is going on.” 

Natsu kissed his head. “I am really proud of you, Gray. I know it took a lot for you to admit that you weren’t okay.”

Gray looked at Natsu with loving eyes. “How the hell did I end up with someone as amazing and understanding as you?” Natsu smiled and kissed him softly, which made Gray smile.

\-----------------

(3 days before everyone leaves to train for the GMG. Both 19.)

Gray sighs as he feels Juvia cling to his arm. Again. “Juvia, I seriously do not feel that way about you.” He told her once again. She just ignored his words and nuzzled his arm, making him groan loudly in frustration. He could feel Natsu glaring at them from afar and wished for a way to pry this crazy woman from his being.

“Juvia, you and me need to talk outside. Alone.” Gray pulled her out into a secluded alleyway, ignoring her remarks.  
He turned to face her, anger visible on his face, when Juvia beat him to the punch.

“Juvia is sorry for being overbearing, but too many people were inappropriately gawking at Gray-sama without his consent, and Juvia isn’t going to let them try to take advantage of her friend.” She explained calmly, knocking Gray through a loop.

“Huh?”

Juvia giggled at his dumbfounded expression. “Gray-sama, Juvia is a lesbian. While she does love you, it is more like a brother than a lover. You aren’t really her type.” She winked playfully.

“Oh, uh, good. I’m too gay for women anyway, so this works out great for both of us. Just… can you tone down the clinging? It makes me extremely uncomfortable and borders on an anxiety attack every time. You’re my friend, but what you have been doing is WAY too much.” He explained to her, glad they were going to be able to remain friends. She was genuinely an awesome person, but the clinginess just has to go.

Before another word could be said they heard a small crash come from behind Gray. They found Natsu on the ground, having fallen against a garbage can as he eavesdropped on their conversation.

“Juvia, you’re a lesbian?” The water mage only nodded.

“Yes, Juvia is a lesbian. In fact, her eyes are on another guildmate of ours, not Gray-sama. One who is a woman”

Gray and Natsu just stared at her for a bit, still taking in the fact that Juvia was not madly in love with Gray but was, in fact, a lesbian. Then Natsu began laughing loudly.

“I knew it! My nose never lies!”

Both stared at him for a bit, confused.

“People who aren’t straight release different pheromones.” Natsu said, wrapping his arms around Gray and nuzzling his cheek. Juvia laughed.

“Welp, this has been fun, but now I need to mark my territory. See you later, Juvia! And good luck with winning Lucy over! I have faith in your lesbian ways!” The fire dragon slayer dragged a complaining Gray back to his apartment. He plops them onto the couch and straddles his lap before kissing the ice mage deeply, hands in his hair and tongue in his mouth.

Gray pulls back when he runs out of air, but this does not stop Natsu from leaning down and leaving a dark hickey on his neck, marking him. Gray moans softly as Natsu keeps kissing him and touching almost everywhere on his body, leaving a few more hickies on his skin.

“You are mine, Gray Fullbuster.”

\---------------

Gray sipped a beer as he talked with Lyon and Ultear, catching up on everything he and the others had missed while on Tenrou. He took a deep breath through his nose as he listened to Lyon talk. He frowned slightly when he felt his chest tighten up a bit, but then shrugged it off, not thinking anything of it.

“I also wanted to apologize again for everything that happened on Galuna Island.” Lyon said to his ‘brother’. Gray turned to him.

“As I have said before, don’t worry about it. We have moved on.” He said. While his face kept a neutral expression, his mind became a whirlwind of emotions as he remembered Deliora. 

“Speaking of that, Meredy and I were planning on visiting my… my old home in 2 weeks. Where my mom trained you guys. Would guys mind coming along? I am sure Meredy would love to hear stories about her, and I know I don’t have many to go off of that would do her any justice.” Ultear asked them both, smiling gently as they nodded. The three began planning for the trip and reminiscing over Ur.

Gray was able to keep up the conversation for another 20 minutes before his mind began shutting down, the memories and everything that had been going on too much for him to handle. He felt his hands begin to shake and his chest tighten.

Ultear and Lyon noticed that Gray was no longer okay. “Lyon, go find Erza or any of his friends and bring them here.” She told the younger mage before kneeling in front of Gray. Lyon nodded and ran off.

“Gray, Gray, can you look at me?” She tried getting his attention gently, but began panicking when nothing she did worked.

Lyon soon returned with Erza and Lucy, but the two informed them that neither was exactly sure what to do, as they have never seen Gray like this before.

Natsu was coming back from training with Romeo when he heard panicked yelling, instantly recognizing Lucy’s voice. The fire mages ran over to the source immediately to investigate. Once close enough Natsu could hear crying, and instantly knew who it was and what was happening. 

“Romeo, grab Wendy and bring her to me ASAP.” He told the young teen before running over to his mate, pushing his way passed everyone who was surrounding him.

Meanwhile Gray was lost in his mind, hearing the screams of everyone around him as he watched Deliora destroy his village again. He visibly shook as he felt his lungs fill up with smoke and ash and there was so much blood and all he wanted was his mom and dad but they were now dead because of this fucker.

“Gray, can you hear me, Gray?”

The ice mage’s memories froze when he heard a familiar voice gently call out to him. The voice was so soothing, but where…

“Gray, you’re not at your old village anymore. You’re at Fairy Tail. What you see right now is in the past. It isn’t real. I need you to come back to me.”

Gray was confused. But, if this wasn’t real, then why could he hear everything so well, and smell everything as if it were right in front of him? It wasn’t making sense, but that voice was so gentle and warm and inviting…

“Gray, please, come back to me. It’s Natsu. I need you to come back to me. To come back to Fairy Tail. We are all waiting for you.” 

Natsu… He knew a Natsu. That was his mate. The one who loved him no matter what. His light.

Gray gasped loudly as he came back to the present, eyes wide and looking around frantically in order to try and understand what the fuck just happened. Finally his eyes landed on Natsu, who was on his knees in front of him, hands just about to touch his face, but still giving him room to back away and say no if he needed or wanted space. Gray immediately entered Natsu’s familiar and warm embrace, holding back his tears. 

“Can I move you to the infirmary? Wendy and I wanna make sure you’re okay.” Natsu asked softly. Gray silently nodded, burying his face into Natsu’s scarf.

Natsu slowly picked Gray up and carried him to the infirmary so Wendy could check him over. The others followed him silently, worried about Gray and wanting to understand what had happened so they could possibly help if it happened again. 

Gently, Natsu sat Gray on the bed and stepped back, holding the ice mage’s hand while Wendy made sure he was okay. Lyon, Ultear, Lucy, and Erza stood to the side, concerned and a bit awkward. After she finished, Wendy gave Gray some medicine to help him fall asleep so his mind could rest after re-experiencing all of that trauma. Natsu could feel everyone’s eyes on him and looked up.

“Basically Gray just had a panic attack that lead to him being trapped inside of one of his memories.” Natsu told them without having to be asked. They nodded.

“Could a conversation about my mother have triggered this?” Ultear asked. Wendy and Natsu nodded.

“That is one of his big triggers, along with his parents. That is why you don’t really hear him talk about them much. It hurts him too much to do so right now. It’s a process for him to become okay enough to talk about them and not lose himself.” Natsu said, hand still holding Gray’s gently. Lucy bit her lip.

“What do we do if we see him having a panic attack and you aren’t there, Natsu?” She asked, wanting to know what she could do to help her friend if he ever needed her.

“You have to speak gently and slowly to him, reminding him that what he is seeing and hearing isn’t real. Tell him where you are, and tell him who you are. Do NOT touch him without his consent. He is likely to attack you if you just try to grab him or even hold his hand.” Natsu informed them firmly, making sure they understood. They all nodded. 

The others eventually left so that Gray and Natsu could have some privacy. Once the door was shut, Natsu bent down and whispered in Gray’s ear,

“I am never letting you go, Gray. I love you.”

\------------

Natsu stared in shock once he was finally reunited with his missing brothers, Sting and Rogue, but once again the reunion was not meant to be happy.

He could easily see that they both were terrified of something, but were unable to directly tell him what.

“You guys have really grown since the last time I saw you.” Natsu kept his tone neutral, not wanting to give anything away to any unwanted listeners.

“Yeah, and way stronger.” Sting gloated, but Natsu saw through the facade. 

“Please, help us.” Rogue quickly whispered in dravic under his breath while Sting talked about how he and Rogue were way stronger than Gajeel and Natsu, giving him a cover. Natsu subtly nodded to the two slayers, signaling that he understood what they were doing and was ready to listen.

“Jiemma is abusing everyone in the guild, especially those who are… ‘different’, as he calls them. Like us, how we love one another. He says people who experience our kind of love are wrong, and should be ‘eliminated’, as they are weak.” Rogue revealed while Sting said something or another about them killing their dragons to gain power to distract those without sensitive hearing. Natsu could already feel his temper flaring in response to the abuse they had been enduring, but everyone else thought he was reacting to Sting’s taunts.

“No one is safe from him. Not even his own daughter. He has literally beaten anyone who opposes him to near death. No one can leave the guild without his permission. We fear for our lives and the lives of our guildmates. Please, Natsu, we need your guys’ help.” Rogue finished their plea while Sting said something about Sabertooth winning the Games and Fairy Tail losing. Neither Natsu or Rogue really listened to him.

Natsu growled. “There’s no way Fairy Tail can lose to a bunch of jackasses like you. We’re gonna kick your ass.” He told them out loud, eyes full of fire.  
Erza began telling the two slayers how their hubris would be their downfall while Natsu whispered back to his brothers,

“Do not worry any longer. We are coming and bringing you home.”

Those words alone almost made them both cry in relief, but they kept up the facades needed and walked away. Natsu stormed back to where their guild was staying during the Games, dragging the other slayers and Makarov into another room for privacy. Once the door was closed, he went off.

“Do not interrupt me!” Natsu hissed, then began telling them what Rogue and Sting had revealed to him earlier that day.

“The fucker is abusing them! Even his own fucking kid! And they can’t fucking leave!” Natsu broke a chair, then began pacing.

“Fucker isn’t going to be alive by the time I am done with him! I will turn him into less than fucking ashes!” He started yelling in dravic as he got more riled up.

Gajeel and Wendy were frozen in place, processing the information given to them about their missing brothers.

“Rogue and Sting are such sweet boys, though… How could he?” Wendy wiped her eyes as they filled with tears at the thought of her brothers suffering. Gajeel wrapped an arm around her to try and comfort her while also keeping his temper in check.

“Gajeel? What can you tell me about these boys? You three seem to know them well.” Makarov asked gently, wanting to get the full story but knowing Natsu had left the conversation already and Wendy was too upset to talk. He nodded.

“We grew up with them. They are dragon slayers like us. Sting is the Holy Dragon Slayer and Rogue is the Shadow Dragon Slayer. They are basically family and it pisses us off that someone is treating them like shit and thinking he can get away with it.” He explained.

Nastu’s accent got thicker as he kept rambling, and soon his dialect changed into one neither Gajeel or Wendy could translate.

“It is a form of dravic more specialized for fire dragons.” Wendy told Makarov, then she looked up at Gajeel, who nodded to her before stepping towards Natsu to make sure his flames wouldn’t go too crazy. Wendy ran out of the room and down the stairs.

She jumped off the last few steps, using her magic so she went farther so she could land beside Gray, who had been talking to Mira and the others about what had happened with the other dragon slayers they had met earlier in the day. She grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs.

Gray didn’t bother arguing, long used to the antics of dragon slayers. He paused when he heard Natsu growling and yelling in a language he could barely understand.

Fuck, I should pay more attention when he is teaching me the form of dravic Igneel taught him.

Wendy lead him into the room. Gray just sighed and walked forward in order to go calm down his dumb, but wonderful, mate. Gently, Gray took Natsu’s hands in his, flames immediately receding in response.

“Natsu, no one here can understand what you are trying to say. Even I am having an issue keeping up. Please, calm down and speak Fiori for us.” Gray kept Natsu’s hands in his, locking eyes with him to make sure he had Natsu’s full attention as he spoke, voice calm. Natsu pouted for a brief moment, not wanting to go back to a language he wasn’t fluent in, but couldn’t find it within himself to tell Gray no.

“Fine. In short, I was planning on how I was gonna burn Jiemma alive and make him suffer for what he has done to Sting, Rogue, and everyone else within their guild over the years.” He told Gray honestly. The ice mage blinked.

“What?”

Natsu sighed heavily, then repeated everything to Gray, explaining that while Sting spoke loudly, Rogue was whispering in dravic to him about their situation. Since they have known each other since forever, Natsu was 1000% sure they were telling the truth. Gray immediately was filled with fury, both at himself and at Jiemma. He was mad at himself for jumping to conclusions about the two slayers without knowing anything about them. He was mad at Jiemma for putting innocent people through hell for no reason, even his own daughter.

Later that night, in their hotel room, Gray held Natsu as he cried. He cried in pain for Sting and Rogue, blaming himself once again for not being there when they needed him. Gray was silent as he held him close, letting him release all of his pent up aggression and sadness.

\------------------

Natsu punched the wall later after Gray’s match on the first day of the Games. He did not blame Gray for losing, but was still frustrated that he had to sit back and watch that asshole from Raven Tail hurt his mate. He knows Gray is a strong, independant mage, and is capable of taking care of himself, but he still felt the instinctive need to protect the ice mage, to shield him from the world.

Lost in thought, he did not see said mage enter their room, arms wrapping around his waist and a forehead pressing gently between his tense shoulders. 

“Natsu, please stop beating yourself up and come to bed.” Gray asked softly in a sleepy voice. Natsu loved this kind of Gray, sleepy and adorable. He turned around and pulled Gray into his arms, softly kissing his head.

“Alright, let’s go.” For now, he would let go of his temporary self-loathing in favor of holding Gray. And when it came back, he knew his mate would be there to help him out.

\--------------

“WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHIT WAS THAT!?” Natsu yelled after hearing that in the ‘vision’ his mate had died. He was proud that Gray was protecting such a good friend, but that didn’t mean they wanted him to die on him. 

Gray kept his head, as he usually did when it came to Natsu.

“I wasn’t going to let Juvia die, Natsu. She has just started actually living.” He told his mate, who sighed a bit before pulling him close and kissing him harshly.

“I get that, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose you, Gray.” He said softly, eyes pleading and filling with tears.

Gray sighed softly, gently pressing a kiss to Natsu’s brow.

“I know, Natsu. I would never leave you like that on purpose, but I also am not going to sit around and let someone important to me die again while I do nothing. She is a close friend. I care for her.” Natsu nodded, burying his face into Gray’s shoulder while he tried to hold back his tears, only to fail miserably.

Gray held Natsu close as he cried, rocking him gently while continuously running a gentle hand through his hair. Natsu clung to Gray like a child, but neither minded. Both craved physical affection, especially from each other.

Gently Gray lead Natsu to their hotel bed and laid them down in order to hold one another better, Natsu resting his head on Gray’s chest and listening to his heart beat, breathing in his scent to reassure himself that Gray was in fact alive and with him, that the ice mage hadn’t left him.

“I love you so much, Gray. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Same to you, Natsu. Same to you.”

‐----------------

Natsu knelt in the ruins of Tartarus, trying to understand what he had just seen and how he felt about it all. His hands were shaking.

“IGNEEL!”

He couldn’t stop screaming, wishing what he had just witnessed was just a dream, that Igneel was still alive out there, waiting for him to come and find him. He had so many stories to tell, so many people for Igneel to meet. Igneel never got to meet Gray, his mate. That alone made Natsu scream even louder, tears falling down his face as he punched the ground beneath him, adding more blood to the soil.

Elsewhere, Gray was staring blankly at the mark on his arm. So much had happened that day. His father had been alive and used, wanting to avenge his dead wife and child, only to find his son was alive and thriving without him. Then he had to ask his son to kill him for the greater good. Fuck, that had to hurt so much. Gray vaguely felt the tears running down his cheeks the more he thought about his father. He fell to his knees as he finally let out his pain and mourned for his father, fingers gripping the blood soaked dirt beneath him in an attempt to ground him to reality.

Dad, I’m so sorry… I should have found out sooner. Maybe I could’ve saved you. Maybe we could have lived together more as father and son, and you could’ve met Natsu. Then you wouldn’t have had to have been alone for all these years. 

He took a moment to collect himself before going off to find Natsu and make sure his mate was okay.

Natsu looked up from his clenched hands when he heard someone walking towards him, heart pounding faster and louder when he realized it was Gray. As soon as the ice mage was close enough, the fire dragon slayer launched himself into Gray’s arms, sobbing even more and burying his face into Gray’s chest. 

Said ice mage was quiet as Natsu cried, simply holding him as he cried. Gray felt very numb at that moment as more of the days events hit him. He knew that there was nothing he could do or say to make Natsu feel better, so he opted to say nothing at all. He felt Natsu continue to sob.

“It isn’t fair! I was supposed to find Igneel in some weird ass location, then yell at him for leaving me, then hug his snout! Then I was gonna bring you to meet him, and he was gonna make jokes about me finally getting my shit together once we told him the story of us,” Natsu’s voice grew weaker as he continued to speak, “and later on, maybe a year or two, he would tease us about having hatchlings of our own. One or two little ones to call our own. And he was gonna spoil them with treasures he has found all over the world, and tell them stories,” Natsu sniffled, angrily wiping his face, “but now he’s….he’s gone.”

Gray was still silent as Natsu spoke, which began to annoy the fire dragon slayer. “Say something, dammit!” He pulled back to look at Gray, about to punch the ice mage, but pausing when he recognized the empty, haunted look in his eyes. “Gray?”

“That man I fought, Silver… he was.... that was…” He watched Gray swallow around a lump in his throat, “that was my dad,” He finally whispered after what felt like forever. It was obvious he was trying to hold onto whatever remaining composure he had, and was speaking over a lump of guilt and sadness in his throat. The ice mage was broken, too.

Natsu’s eyes went wide in shock, but now understood why Silver’s scent had been so similar to Gray’s. He tucked that thought away for a later time before pulling Gray close again. “It’s okay. You can cry, too,” Natsu promised him gently. He felt the ice mage nod before a familiar wetness began soaking the shoulder of his jacket. The young men remained silent as they mourned over the loss of their loved ones… again.

\------------------

Natsu felt his heart break into a million pieces all over again as Gray spoke those hateful words about Fairy Tail, about their home. Had he, too, been tossed to the side so easily? Natsu couldn’t help but wonder.

It physically was hurting Gray to talk like this to Natsu, but he had to keep up the facade just a bit longer. Then his and Erza’s plan would be ready. An idea hit him in that moment.

“I am not really part of Avatar, Natsu.” He quickly switched to dravic, making Natsu’s eyes go wide in shock. His accent was thick and his pronunciation need more work, but he knew enough to get his point across to Natsu.

“What are you doing, Gray? What language is that?” His ‘cohort’ demanded. Gray rolled his eyes and ran his stained hand through his hair, playing it off as if it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t care. “It is called dravin or something like that. The slayers speak it. What better way to ensure all ties are broken with this imbecile than to use his own mother language against him?” He smirked while his ‘guildmate’ laughed.

“Erza and I created a plan for me to infiltrate Avatar so we could take them down from the inside. Please, play along. It is almost time for the last step in our plan in order to take these idiots down. I promise, I will not let them hurt you or Lucy or Happy. You guys are my family. I love all of you.”

Natsu almost smiled when he heard Gray explain what was going on, but held back from the urge in order to keep Gray and Erza’s plan going. 

“Gray, you moron! You let these dumbasses taint your brain!” He yelled at his boyfriend, not meaning a single word of it. Well, maybe he didn’t. Gray was certainly a moron in his book, but Gray was his moron.

Gray just smirked and readied another attack with his demon slaying magic, eyes full of mischief, though you could only see it if you knew how to read Gray. “You damn fairies are so persistent. Time for Avatar to clip your wings.”

Natsu readied himself to counter Gray with his fire, smirking playfully. “You can try, but just like everyone else, you’re gonna fail, Ice Cube.”

The two began exchanging blows with a familiar ease, as if it were all a game to them. And for them, it really was.

Later, after everything was settled and they all set up camp for the night, Natsu pulled Gray to the side in order to speak in private. As soon as they were far enough away Natsu punched Gray in the face, then pulled him into a deep kiss.

“You idiot! I was seriously worried about you! I thought that damn mark of yours actually ruined your dumb brain! Don’t scare me like that, you jerk!” Natsu scolded him before kissing him roughly again. Gray smiled against Natsu’s lips.

“Sorry you’re so gullible, you dork.” He teased. He let out a loud yelp as Natsu pinched his side.

“I’m serious. I was really worried about you. Demon magic of any kind is some shady and dangerous shit,” Natsu rested his head against Gray’s shoulder, breathing in his scent. “So don’t do that without warning me. I was ready to beat the shit out of you.” 

Gray just kissed his head and held him close. “I’m sorry. I will try to keep you in the loop in the future.”

\---------------------

Gray was pissed. No, he was beyond pissed. Had Natsu known the whole time? Gray was so conflicted. He didn’t know what to do. First, his best friend gives up her life so he can continue living. Now, he learns his boyfriend is the very thing he promised his father to kill.

Fuck, my life is so messed up.

Gray ran around the ruins of Magnolia to find Natsu. Once he spotted the familiar head of pink hair, he attacked. He was not surprised to find his attack was blocked by a fist engulfed in flames.

“How long have you known?” Gray interrogated angrily, seething by this point. 

Natsu looked into Gray’s eyes, finding them to be cold as ice. He looked down, not liking how the gaze affected him. “I have known for a year now,” he revealed to the ice mage, which only served to make him angrier.

Gray summoned more swords with his magic and attacked again, only to be blocked once more. His head was filled with the same sentence repeating itself.

Natsu is END. Natsu is END. Natsu is END.

Natsu kept blocking Gray’s attacks, not really wanting to fight Gray. Not like this. “Gray, please, let me fucking explain! There is more to this than you realize!”

“More than I realize!? You’re END, you knew you were, and you didn’t fucking tell me! You are Zeref’s greatest fucking creation, creator of Tartarus!” 

Gray was knocked down onto his back, Natsu pinning him down. 

“I am still Natsu Dragneel, mage of Fairy Tail, son of Igneel, and mate to Gray Fullbuster. That is who I am,” Natsu stated firmly, making Gray meet his gaze, “my memories of my life before Fairy Tail were locked away by both my brother and Igneel. To protect me. Jumping 400 years into the future with all of my memories intact would have really messed me up, so they gave me and the other slayers with a dragon parent a clean slate, meaning none of us remember what our lives were like before coming here,” he paused to catch his breath and collect his thoughts. He realized then that he was crying. “I am still your Natsu. I am still your mate. I still love you so fucking much. END is a part of me, yes, but he does not control me. I do. And I want to keep living here with you, and our family at Fairy Tail. I want to keep loving you. Please… please don’t give up on me.” Natsu was now begging. “Please don’t make me lose you, too.”

Gray stared into Natsu’s tear filled eyes, searching them for something or another. Once he found what he was looking for, he freed his hands so that he could pull Natsu down and kiss him deeply, hands cupping his face as his thumbs wiped away his tears. “I’m glad that I still got my silly mate here with me, and not some monster. We promised to stick together, didn’t we? When we became mates?” He smiled gently as Natsu nodded, then reconnected their lips.

Neither noticed that they had gained an audience as Erza, Wendy, Lucy, Juvia, Charla, and Happy watched them make out in the middle of a war. Eventually Erza loudly cleared her throat, making them jump apart, faces almost as red as her hair.  
“So… how long has this been going on?” She asked them, trying not to blush, but she was about as red as they were. Everyone was blushing.

“Are we counting the 7 years on Tenrou?” Natsu asked. He watched Erza and the others nod. “Then about…” he and Gray had to pause and think of how long they had actually been together. It just felt like they had always been this way. “About… 11ish years?” Natsu said, still a bit unsure. “I know it has been longer than a decade if we count Tenrou.” Natsu clarified for the others. Gray nodded.

“11 sounds about right. We started dating at about 14 or 15, we got trapped on Tenrou at 18 or 19, spent 7 years on Tenrou, and it has been a year since Tartarus.” Gray did the math out loud, then just gave up, as did Natsu. The numbers didn’t matter to either of them.

The girls looked at Juvia, expecting her to be heart broken, but instead she was smiling knowingly at them. “Juvia already knew. She was never in love with Gray romantically. She was just keeping perverts away from her friend, since Natsu and Gray were not out yet as a couple. Juvia is a lesbian,” She told them calmly. The other mages and Exceed were still a bit shocked as they took in everything they had just learned about their friends.

“Anyway,” Erza cleared her throat, “we need to keep fighting, so leave the sappy romance stuff for later you, too.”

Gray and Natsu both blushed brightly, but nodded. They shared one last small kiss before getting up and preparing to fight again, to save the people they loved.

\----------------

Natsu punched Gray in the jaw later that day. “The fuck were you thinking, using Iced Shell on my fucking brother! Then you were going to make it so we forgot you! You selfish prick!” He was crying while yelling at Gray, unable to understand why.

Gray silently took the hits Natsu threw at him, lost in thought as well. Finally, he snapped, “And what about you, dumbass!? You knew there was a chance of you dying with Zeref! You knew that it could’ve killed you to kill him! You think I want to lose you, either!” Gray now was crying, too.

“I can’t fucking lose you, too. I love you.” They said at the same time, voices weak and full of tears and pain. They stared at one another for a bit, then collapsed against one another in tears, clinging onto the other for dear life, as if the other would suddenly vanish if they let go.

“Don’t ever fucking scare me like that again, you jerk.” Natsu scolded weakly through his tears.

“Only if you promise me the same thing, dumbass.” Gray tried to smile.

Natsu pulled back a bit to look Gray in the eyes. He loved Gray’s eyes, such a beautiful deep blue. Then he once again kissed the ice mage, holding him close. “I am so glad you’re alive. I love you so much, Gray.” Natsu whispered against his lips. He felt the ice mage chuckle.

“I love you more, Natsu.”

\-------------------

Gray ran to the shore where the dragon slayers had landed, tears falling freely down his cheeks as he tackled Natsu into the shallow water. Once he felt his mate’s arms around him, he began to sob loudly, Freed not too far behind him as they clung to Laxus while Levy was scolding Gajeel into the next century. Gray gripped Natsu’s tattered jacket tightly in his hands.

“You stupid, stupid dragon slayer! Fuck, are all of you insane! Is that a requirement in order to have that kind of magic? Huh?” Gray screamed, both angry and relieved.

Natsu gently pushed Gray back so he could look his mate in the eyes, then kissed the Ice mage in front of everyone, not caring anymore who saw. Gray was his, and he wanted everyone to know that. He was done hiding. He had come too close to losing Gray so many times today.

Gray’s hands tangled themselves in Natsu’s soft, yet dirty, hair, kissing him harder. Natsu was his. And he was here. Alive. 

The two pulled away to catch their breath after a few minutes, which felt like forever and nothing to the two of them. Their foreheads connected gently, allowing them to maintain the much needed eye contact.

“I love you so much, Gray. I’m sorry I scared you. I’m yours and you are mine. Here and now, forever and always. Please, never leave my side. I need you more than I need air.” Natsu knew he sounded extremely corny, but it was the truth, and he needed to say it out loud, in front of everyone, mainly Gray.

Gray began to cry again. “Of course, you stupid flamebrain! I’m your mate! And your mine!” His shoulders shook.

Natsu let out a small whine at the sight of Gray’s tears and nuzzled his cheek gently, something that almost always made Gray laugh. Natsu felt his heart skip a beat as Gray let out a wet chuckle.

“I love you so much.” They said at the same time as soon as their eyes met again. This lead to them both bursting out into laughter, holding the other as close as they possibly could. They ignored the cheers and friendly teasing from their friends and family in the background, too busy memorizing the other’s details again. Every inch of their face, the feel of their hair in their hands, the way they breathed. Everything.

Soon people began leaving to begin getting patched up and celebrate their victories against both Alvarez and Acnologia. Soon only Gray and Natsu were left.

Natsu cupped Gray’s face gently between his hands. “I really am sorry that I scared you today. I never meant to, but I also needed to fight alongside my siblings. It took all of us to defeat Acnologia.”

Gray nodded tearfully, wiping his face as best he could. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry about you. For all I knew, you were gone. Forever. I can’t...” He looked ready to break down again. “I can’t lose you. I’ve lost too many people that I love. I… I don’t know what I would do without you.” He admitted, not for the first time, but just to make sure Natsu understood how he felt.

As always, Natsu knew exactly how he felt. Natsu nuzzled his nose against Gray’s gently before pressing their foreheads together again. “I know what you mean. I can’t be without you, either, Gray.” Natsu then kissed him softly once more, unable to get enough of Gray.

The sun began to set below the horizon when the two decided to join the festivities, pinkies linked together as a silent promise to the other. A promise to forever remain by the other’s side, through thick and thin, the good and bad, the ups and downs, anything and everything. Just as they always had since the first time Natsu followed Gray to that old fallen log in the woods back when they were kids.


End file.
